Angola oilfield by Douel Darole on Google Maps
Craig boarded that plane with heavy heart. Ten years he had worked with Brendon. Saudi, Oman, Sarawak, and now Angola. Separately they applied for the contracts and separately they won them. But this was their last contract together.
Why hadn’t the man listened. The locals had told him. That case of cash hauled out of the sea was a gift from Kianda and should be used to the benefit of the village. But no, Brendon had kept it, drank it. Drunk every night in the bar… until sot-headed, he fell into the water.
This last trip home, they travelled separately, Craig on the plane amongst the other petrochem workers, Brendon alone in a crate in the cargo hold.
118 words written for What Pegman Saw: Angola
Kianda is the Angolan goddess of the sea, though she also inhabits rivers, pools and other water-holes. It’s believed if Kianda bestows a gift, it should be used for the benefit of the local community. To do otherwise is to risk death. She takes mermaid form.
Foolish Brendan. So greedy and he paid for it. I liked your potted history of the two men, joined together through so many years now separate on this final journey, for Brendan at least. Lovely writing, Crispina
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I thank you. Based on the anecdotes of someone I knew back in the 1980s. Not that he lost a friend to greed. It was just a convenient starting place.
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It read very well 🙂
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I thank you. I was tentative; the original originates in the 80s.
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Very well done!
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I thank you. 🙂
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Ooooo this is excellent. I love it.
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I thank you, J. Mythology again!
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Wow, quite an unexpected ending and perfect response to the photo. A lesson in a short 118 words.😊Perfect!
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I thank you. As soon as I saw where the prompt was to take us … it had to be
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Excellent emotional evocation.
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I thank you. I have my moments
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greed can sneak in and consume – and imagining him in the cargo hold was so vivid
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I thank you. It seemed to be the natural end
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Wonderfully done, Crispina. I feared a sad end would come to one of them.
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And it couldn’t be Craig, cos he was safely on the plane. 🙂
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Wonderful morality tale about greed and defying the gods; you’ve captured that classic fairy tale rhythm perfectly. I especially liked seeing it from the view of someone close who is personally affected by the wayward sinner’s downfall. And great foreshadowing in that first paragraph.
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I thank you, Joy, this comment from you means a lot to me. And to think, a year ago I hadn’t a clue how to write a short story, much less micro-fiction.
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You are really picking up on the techniques very fast!
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Yea, I do seem to be catching on. Once the mind is applied …
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Oh dang. Such a shame for Brendan. Love how the ending is so understated, but still I said Yikes!
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I thank you, Karen. The first and last lines I wrote first, then filled in the middle. I was delighted to find their mythology included this mermaid-like goddess. Mermaids, whether with fish or snake tales, are everywhere in the ancient stories.
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In my next life, I want to be a mermaid.
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They seem to be everywhere in mythological circles, spirits of river, lake and sea. But I suppose it makes sense to clothe a spirit of water in a fish-tail … or an eel’s that then morphs to a snake’s.
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A great modern take on the Kianda legend.
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I thank you, Andrea.
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