What Pegman Saw: Taffy’s Homebrew

Manitoba. Image by CG on Google Maps

She’d told Jeff she didn’t want Taffy’s homebrew beer.

And he’d answered, “You wanted to come with us, be one of the fellas, so you’ll drink that beer.”

Fine. Except Jeff and his mates were used to Taffy’s homebrew, and she wasn’t. And in the course of the night it had gurgled through her intestines until, in the early dawn…

Feet rammed into boots, jacket slung over her jimmies, she dived for the door. And who’s cool idea was it to book them a cabin with an outside can?

“Yikes, where’s the rucking key?”

Then key and lock refused to match – a bit like Taffy’s homebrew and her intestines.

“Hells! What!” The door wasn’t locked.

Sat inside that rickety outhouse, she found blessed relief. Until…

What was that snuffling and chuffing?

She opened the outhouse door just enough.

“Oh shits! A rucking polar bear!”


144 words, written for What Pegman Saw: Manitoba, Canada

Adaptation of a story told me from a friend’s first marriage. But it wasn’t a polar bear, and it wasn’t in Canada, it was in Colorado, and it wasn’t on a hunting trip but at her new home.

 

 

About crispina kemp

Spinner of Asaric and Mythic tales
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61 Responses to What Pegman Saw: Taffy’s Homebrew

  1. Dale says:

    That cabin has to be in the far northern part of Manitoba for that bear to be a polar bear!!
    Oh my. No way could he have paid me enough to make me go somewhere with only an outhouse for the… daily ablutions 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Violet Lentz says:

    Hysterical! And knowing it really happened makes it all that much funnier! perfect twist on the truth…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “… it had gurgled through her intestines…” I know that feeling.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hello! I sent the comment earlier too, but I think it may have landed in your spam folder…
    Would you please see the letter I sent you? 🙂
    https://verbalcreation.home.blog/2019/08/12/a-letter-for-crimson/

    Like

  5. Jen Goldie says:

    “Never drink too much of another man’s Brew” you can quote me on that! As for out houses. Such a lovely invention! but only when needed. Fun write Crispina! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Kim Smyth says:

    Cute story, I’ve never heard the word rucking, I guess it’s a substitute for a far worse word! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dear Crispina,

    That hunting trip sounds like some of my worst nightmares. I’ll admit I laughed out loud. 😀 I’m so happy to have been born in the age of indoor plumbing which is great until a two-year-old flushes his brother’s Star Wars action figures. (Another story for another time 😉 ) Thanks for the chuckles.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Brian Bixby says:

    (Although Manitoba is not really polar bear country.)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. k rawson says:

    Oh no! Funny, funny story, but what did your friend do? How long was she stuck in the loo?

    Once I went hiking in Yellowstone and found a grizzly blocking the path on the return path to the car. You can bet I made I wide detour around. They are nothing to mess with.

    Liked by 1 person

    • crimsonprose says:

      She sat it out. She dared not yell for help. Just pretended she wasn’t there and hoped the bear would snuffle on through and away. I don’t know how long she was there, but as newlywed, it’s a fair guess her husband missed her and came to her aid. She never did say.
      I’ve seen them on documentaries. I would definitely not mess with one

      Like

  10. 4963andypop says:

    How likely is it, that there would be two FF posts mentioning what J Hardy Carroll so delicately termed “the flux?” A little potty humor can go a long way. A most distressing scene for the poor wife. I suspect she won’t be going on too many more guy outings after this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • 4963andypop says:

      Oops!! i meant Pegman, sorry!

      Liked by 1 person

    • crimsonprose says:

      I’d say it put her off. A hard way to learn the lesson, to let the guys go on their own.
      Although it was inspired by a friend’s anecdote, some part of it comes from my early youth, when my brother and his mates realised I was a girl, and could no longer be part of their gang unless I passed certain initiation tests (none of which had they done). I remember one of these was to stuff a big sack with stinging nettles (no gloves allowed), and another was to cross the local river (more a wide stream) on a barbed wire fence. Yep, done them. The one about climbing the trees along a path through the woods wasn’t so easy. I was an excellent and eager tree-climber, but some of those trees had their first branches way out of my reach.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Joy Pixley says:

    I can feel the anxious urge from here, oh no! Nothing like having to go outside to the can in the middle of the night (or the early morning hours in the freezing cold); I did that plenty when I was younger and I’m too old for that now, no thank you. And that’s even without bears!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. A grizzly would be scary enough outside in the night!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. High-Larr-Eye-Us stuff. Loved it. Simple yet effective. Poor story narrator.

    Liked by 1 person

    • crimsonprose says:

      Yea, bless. You should hear her stories of flying in a USAF aircraft over Alaska, with only one engine. I didn’t appreciate it at the time, since we were flying over the Black Sea at the time of the telling 🙂

      Like

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