Writing on Voices

That is, First Person, 2nd, Third

Experimentation

Over the (very) long years of writing, I have experimented with voices.

I’ve a persistent desire to write a story with multiple point-of-view (pov) characters, each telling the tale from their different angles. Maybe some of these characters are less than trustworthy?

With a hankering also for setting a mystery for the reader to solve, I imagine this as a means to that end.

But I haven’t yet been able to make it work.

To Date…

Several of the stories I’ve written began life as 1st person tellings but ended their life in third person. Others started as third person then swayed into first person during a reworking, only to revert to third.

Example:

The Spinner’s Game, which began life in 2006 as In The Beginning, began as 3rd person. But dissatisfied with the result, I then tried again with the protagonist Kerrid as the first-person voice.

But that resulted in worse than dissatisfaction. That was rubbish!

Why?

“I this, I that, I could, I couldn’t…” she sounded so brattish and I hadn’t yet worked out how to get around it.

In another (less than brilliant) attempt, I gave the voice to a different character, one who could be the Narrator. I chose Raesan:

“Who can say when it began? For all our wisdom, tricks and age, even we Asars cannot say. Didn’t Olun once believe he was the first-born, only to discover that others had been born before him? So what do we know of such things as beginnings? Except that we were there – at the beginning. But this story isn’t about that beginning. It’s about Kerrid and how she found her memory. It begins during her fifth winter at the Lake of Skulls.”

Raesan then goes on to tell the story in third person, occasionally putting his godly tuppence worth in.

Oh, that was useful. Not.

Saramequai (formerly Saram aka Alsalda) began its life in first person. In its earliest incarnation I used five pov characters, all in first person. Wow, talk about dancing around a central story. Yet it’s not simply ‘a’ story; it is several stories, entangled together.

Here’s an excerpt from Drea’s ‘input’:

“The Horse Master Krisnavn had made many requests of me, but up until then they had been for grain and meat to feed his men and their horses. I cannot say that I’d been happy to give him what he’d asked for: I had not, although I’d been more willing to give him the goats. They, at least, had been from the granary-family’s herd: they had nothing to do with the Alsime. The same could not be said of the grain; I did not so much resent the giving of it, since I knew the need, but I was concerned that the granaries would not be replenished before we had some dire need. What then would we give the Alisime women who came to the granaries clutching the tokens we’d given them in exchange for their hard-gained grain?”

No wonder the wordcount escalated. With multiple pov characters there’s a tendency for each pov to repeat the same part of the story.

And it didn’t stop there.

In itself, multiple pov characters shouldn’t be a problem – if you stay alert.

Q: Who’s telling this part, and why? Is that the best character to use?

If material must be repeated, then there should be noticeable differences, and those differences should be relevant. Otherwise, why include them?

Easiest is two povs, as found in many romcoms. Easier still is when one or both pov characters is written in 3rd person. Potentially disastrous corollary is to attempt multiple pov characters in first person. This is what I tried in the first version of The King’s Wife. Even in 3rd person, the multiple povs didn’t work so well.

But some of us take a long time to learn!

Saramequai

I’ve learned – to a degree.

Yes, Saramequai does have multiple pov characters but I’m on the alert for repetition, and I’ve reduced their number. And yes, they’re all in third person.

That’s all for this week.

I’d be delighted if you’d drop a comment.
What’s your experience of writing or reading multiple povs?

Thank you for reading.