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You cannot imagine how it is to live for so long not knowing why you remain young while others age, not knowing why you live while others die.
Then the memory returns. It doesn’t come to you slowly, piece by tantalising piece to be put together and hesitantly grasped; it comes all of a parcel and hits you in the face, the throat, the chest, the gut, the bowels. And you cry out: “Oh God, no!”
Written for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt: Longevity.
crispina kemp 
Very intriguing.
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I thank you. It was originally spoken by one of the characters in *The Spinner’s Game*, which I’m prepping to publish with Kindle. But I didn’t include it. And It seemed to fit here.
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Will be looking for it.
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It will be well flashed up on my blog when I’m ready to press the publish button 🙂
In the meantime, you’ll find the back-page blurbs on *Books* on my blog
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Okies! Will check it out.
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🙂
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What an amazing opener this would make for a full length story! Excellent writing. I felt the blow.
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I have to smile, for that was the original reason for writing it… a long, long time ago. And then I decided to keep that reveal under wraps. 🙂
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ooo I loved it. would like to read more.
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The book, or the intro this was taken from?
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I didn’t realize it was a book. But in that case, both.
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The book separated from the intro way back in 2006, and evolved in various ways. It’s the book I’m currently prepping for kindle publication next spring.
Meanwhile, that intro has lurked in the guts of a succession of computers, on CDs and DVDs and USB sticks, and currently on OneDrive.
I’ll email it to you. In its entirely it’s not intended for general public consumption.
To avoid problems with compatibility, I’ll paste it into the body of the email.
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Woah! Piqued my interest. So who is he/she? Werewolf? Can’t be a vampire… 🤔 Vampires don’t make bloody messes unless they really need to. See, now you’ve got my fantasy factory hooting…. 😄
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I chuckle. I like it. And what else might have longevity, even seeming immortality?
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Is it an incubus? An anthropod? A satan worshipping wizard? A man who sold his soul to el diablo? Oooh…Is it an evil Dr. whose experiment went woefully awry… a la Victor Frankenstein himself turning into a monster? Oooh…is it a demon who doesn’t know he’s a demon? It’s a humanoid…isn’t he? Can’t be a zombie…
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These are some wonderful guesses. I’ll give you a big clue:
Feeling chuffed at His making of Adam, God called for His angels to gather around him.
“Look!” He said. “Isn’t this the most exquisite creation?” And He bid them bow low in admiration.
The angels of love readily fell to their knees. But those angels led by Azazael just plain refused.
God beetled his brows. “You dare disobey me?”
Azazael hitched his trousers before he answered, “Why should we, the sons of pure fire and light, fall down before this, of muck and water?” Which somewhat pissed-off our Mighty God.
“Be banished!” God bellowed and caused a storm. “And may your feet forever be mucky and wet to remind you of your audacity.”
Not quite the scenario, but close. 🙂
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Okay, did you just come up with this story to give me a clue or was it something you had already written because if you just came up with it on the spot… my goodness woman! You are a talented writer!
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It’s cut from the next story I shall be prepping for Kindle after The Spinner’s Game is published.
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Is it a Leviathan? 😛 Okay I am stopping now. You wrote it wonderfully and I loved it. Keep writing!
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It’s a fallen angel. Banished to earth for sins of creation
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A great lead in—-and surprise, surprise—-exactly 76 words!! Yeah I followed the link and did a word count to see if you followed the rules!! LOL!!! You did!!
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I’m a great rule-follower. I run my own prompts with a word-limit, I wouldn’t abuse someone elses.
I don’t know if you’ve seen my other replies, but in short, this is an excerpt from what the original preface to what, in 2006, was titled In The Beginning and is now The Spinner’s Game. Since you have read it, you’ll understand it. You’ll also know why I didn’t use it. BTW, it was spoken by Raesan. How unlikely is that?
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Well, the lead in has a different feel to me than Spinner’s Game. I can see it fits though on immortality. But, then if its Raesan’s thoughts, I am imbued with Kerrid’s manner of thinking. And, Raesan is way more moody.
LOL I wasn’t saying you aren’t a rule follower or rule abuser as I think you have great discipline with words. But, you do have that wild maverick spirit too!!
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Mm, I like that word maverick. And I don’t suppose that piece does fit so well with what’s become of The Spinner’s Game. In 13 years, there are bound to be changes. One of them is the character of Raesan.
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Absolutely there will be evolution in such world creating over time as things percolate in the mind of a writer. Sometimes with novels and series writing, there are spin off books about one of the characters. Maybe Raesan could be one. Ursula Le Guin actually from a character in a short story, Semley’s Necklace, who met Rocannon ended up thinking he needed his own story hence Rocannon’s World. That Lead In may come in useful…who knows??
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Raesan is one. He co-stars in Bellinn Road, which I hope to have ready to publish next summer 🙂
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I was going to say: this doesn’t sound like Raesan.
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His character changed… considerably, during later versions. In this version he was the narrator. I got as far as Olun beneath the ice, and realised I needed to be in Kerrid’s head.
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That’s always a tough call. I’ve been surprised at realizing how much the story changes based on who the POV character is.
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Which is why it’s so important to choose the right POV character. I experiemented with several for The Spinner’s Game. Raesan, & 1st person Kerrid. I also had a version of multiple vps. I tried omniscent. And you know which I went for. I think it was the right decision.
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I can see major drawbacks with all the others, especially now having read on what you decide upon.
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Yea. I made the wrong choice with The King’s Wife, doing it multi VP but each as 1st person. That will be amended when I reach that part of the series 🙂
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Well penned Crispina in so few words. 🙂
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I would say, yea, I’m perfecting the art of micro fiction. But this was a piece I wrote 13 years ago. So I guess I can’t say it. Though in fairness, it did come packaged in 800 more words 🙂
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A testament to a great writer. Every word and paragraph means something. 🙂
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You old flatterer, you. But I thank you, the same 🙂
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You’re welcome. Typical modesty 🙂
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I blush. 🙂
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Oh Crispina! This is fantabulous! And Raesan, eh? I’m jealous of Violet…
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Is this a not so subtle way of asking for a copy?
Well, because you did beta read… but I must advise you, this piece was written as an intro to a version that was later shelved. Though themes and characters remain.
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Ummm… can’t fool you, can I?
I understand…
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Mailing it now 🙂
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Thank you!!
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My pleasure.
In fact, I was thinking of posting it some time, but hadnt yet decided. 🙂
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Sweet! Received and to be read shortly…
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If you care to give feedback… by email, always welcomed. This was written way back in 2006.
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Absolutely, I will.
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Cheers, my friend 🙂
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Cheers!
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We should have brimming steins to bash together….
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Your wish is my command 🍻
😉
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Do you reckon the beer might splash into the ocean?
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Nah. This is a fella talking. Sorry to disappoint you. 🙂
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Sorry, Bobby, I’m not understanding you on this. Care to clarify?
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Ok. Seems in this instance we’ve been ships that pass in the night. 🙂
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Well I admit the nights are closing in but not quite night surely
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Oh dear, and now I’ve deleted off the previous comments. Typical me. React first. Think second. Apologise third. Sorry. Guess it’s a tad foggy at sea. 🙂 🙂 🙂
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I close my eyes and hear the siren’s wail
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The mythic creatures of the sea? Or the ambulance and firebrigade?
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Me being an ex-matelot what do you think?
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It’s not the ambulance that we hear.
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Powerful and intriguing!
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I thank you. 🙂
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