Manitoba. Image by CG on Google Maps
She’d told Jeff she didn’t want Taffy’s homebrew beer.
And he’d answered, “You wanted to come with us, be one of the fellas, so you’ll drink that beer.”
Fine. Except Jeff and his mates were used to Taffy’s homebrew, and she wasn’t. And in the course of the night it had gurgled through her intestines until, in the early dawn…
Feet rammed into boots, jacket slung over her jimmies, she dived for the door. And who’s cool idea was it to book them a cabin with an outside can?
“Yikes, where’s the rucking key?”
Then key and lock refused to match – a bit like Taffy’s homebrew and her intestines.
“Hells! What!” The door wasn’t locked.
Sat inside that rickety outhouse, she found blessed relief. Until…
What was that snuffling and chuffing?
She opened the outhouse door just enough.
“Oh shits! A rucking polar bear!”
144 words, written for What Pegman Saw: Manitoba, Canada
Adaptation of a story told me from a friend’s first marriage. But it wasn’t a polar bear, and it wasn’t in Canada, it was in Colorado, and it wasn’t on a hunting trip but at her new home.
crispina kemp 
That cabin has to be in the far northern part of Manitoba for that bear to be a polar bear!!
Oh my. No way could he have paid me enough to make me go somewhere with only an outhouse for the… daily ablutions 😉
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As I noted, it’s based on an anecdote; the orginal had a grizzly, and was set back in the mid 1950s.
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Grizzly would make more sense 😉 But polar bear makes more impact!
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I had just read that Montiba is the *polar bear centre*. And it has been reported that they’re moving closer to towns.
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I would not be surprised , to tell the truth
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Ooops, another typo. They proliferate tonight. We’ll be having pubic dissent if this continues. Best I bet to hed.
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Who’s counting? Not I, that is for sure!
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You’re so kind. And I’m such a stickler and perfectionist … in some areas
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So am I but frankly, it’s not worth pointing it out to others unless you know they want it noted and corrected.
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Absolutely and indeed. To do so uninvited gets you into trouble.
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Yes. And I don’t want to be one of those people 😉
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You’re not. At least, you’re not with me. But if I realised I’ve done a typo, I like to put it right. Others’ typos… I’ll only remark if it’s made the comment incomprehensible, or hilariously funny.
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Yes. I will only remark on it if it’s blatant or an obvious ooops.
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🙂
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Hysterical! And knowing it really happened makes it all that much funnier! perfect twist on the truth…
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Thanks. As I’ve noted to Dale, this was back in 1950s, and the original featured a grizzle. And she a Norfolk lass, newly wed and taken to the States. Which all adds to the picture
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“… it had gurgled through her intestines…” I know that feeling.
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Yea, me too. And dare we sleep, for the call when it comes, comes a with a degree of urgency
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Hello! I sent the comment earlier too, but I think it may have landed in your spam folder…
Would you please see the letter I sent you? 🙂
https://verbalcreation.home.blog/2019/08/12/a-letter-for-crimson/
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I’ve read it. I’ve commented. I’m deeply touched. But I will check the spam in case there’s something else in there 🙂
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Thank you so much! 🙂
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🙂
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“Never drink too much of another man’s Brew” you can quote me on that! As for out houses. Such a lovely invention! but only when needed. Fun write Crispina! 😊
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Thanks. My grandmother had an outhouse; I spent a lot of time there … at grandma’s, not in her outhouse 🙂
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😂 Thanks I needed a good laugh right now!
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Always happy to provide a chortle. 🙂
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Always ready to receive happily. 😊
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Bug chuckles. Sounds like the name of a clown. 🙂
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Oh! That’s the older brother. He hated the name, but it suited his profession. Ah well life!
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I shall try this again. BIG smiles, not bug smiles. Although, I don’t know, maybe bugs do.
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I think bugs do. Why not LOL btw some sites aren’t letting me comment. 😦 Will this comment appear?
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Your comments always appear. But I’m finding a similar problem. It’s the way some people have their settings set.
And now, my dear, I must away to sleepy lands, for tomorrow I have a most important letter to write. 🙂
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BIG SMILES! Sleep well my comments can wait on other’s sites. Sweet dreaming 🙂
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I slept well. woke refreshed. Now sip upon coffee while checking out the comments and blogs. Then … I’m out in the morning.
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Well have a good morning! I just made a coffee oops. No wonder I can’t sleep for long.
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I’m not surprised you have sleep problems. No caffeine for at least 2 hours before bed. No computer screens for at least 2 hours before bed. And an hour before midnight really is worth 2 hours after. And a good night’s sleep is essential for good mental health.
End of lecture. I learnt it the hard way. 🙂
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OH! I see it’s a full moon…just noticed. Wow! 🙂 I’ll have to copy/paste the instructions. 🤐😁
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I shake my head. You are incorrigible.
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Only sometimes 🙂
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Cute story, I’ve never heard the word rucking, I guess it’s a substitute for a far worse word! 😉
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Coined by one of my characters, along with jigging.
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Dear Crispina,
That hunting trip sounds like some of my worst nightmares. I’ll admit I laughed out loud. 😀 I’m so happy to have been born in the age of indoor plumbing which is great until a two-year-old flushes his brother’s Star Wars action figures. (Another story for another time 😉 ) Thanks for the chuckles.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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My pleasure, Rochelle. I veered a bit from my usual offering on Pegman, but it was worth it if it made folks chuckle
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(Although Manitoba is not really polar bear country.)
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According to wiki it is. What do I know, I’m a Brit
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Oh no! Funny, funny story, but what did your friend do? How long was she stuck in the loo?
Once I went hiking in Yellowstone and found a grizzly blocking the path on the return path to the car. You can bet I made I wide detour around. They are nothing to mess with.
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She sat it out. She dared not yell for help. Just pretended she wasn’t there and hoped the bear would snuffle on through and away. I don’t know how long she was there, but as newlywed, it’s a fair guess her husband missed her and came to her aid. She never did say.
I’ve seen them on documentaries. I would definitely not mess with one
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How likely is it, that there would be two FF posts mentioning what J Hardy Carroll so delicately termed “the flux?” A little potty humor can go a long way. A most distressing scene for the poor wife. I suspect she won’t be going on too many more guy outings after this!
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Oops!! i meant Pegman, sorry!
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You know, kinda guessed that, since I don’t do Friday Fictioneers.
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I’d say it put her off. A hard way to learn the lesson, to let the guys go on their own.
Although it was inspired by a friend’s anecdote, some part of it comes from my early youth, when my brother and his mates realised I was a girl, and could no longer be part of their gang unless I passed certain initiation tests (none of which had they done). I remember one of these was to stuff a big sack with stinging nettles (no gloves allowed), and another was to cross the local river (more a wide stream) on a barbed wire fence. Yep, done them. The one about climbing the trees along a path through the woods wasn’t so easy. I was an excellent and eager tree-climber, but some of those trees had their first branches way out of my reach.
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I can feel the anxious urge from here, oh no! Nothing like having to go outside to the can in the middle of the night (or the early morning hours in the freezing cold); I did that plenty when I was younger and I’m too old for that now, no thank you. And that’s even without bears!
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I’ve not had to do it in freezing cold, but between holiday accommodation, grandma’s place, and a rented house in late teens, yea, I’ve done plenty of that too
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I did a lot of camping as a child, both with my family and with Girl Scouts, and then later with friends. I maxed out on rustic toilets by about age 20. 🙂
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How lucky we are to have indoor plumbing. Whatever happened that the convenience enjoyed by the Minoans and Harrappans was then lost for nigh on three millennia?
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I wasn’t aware of that, but I’m not that surprised anymore that methods and technologies are developed and then disappear for a while.
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For millennia.
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A grizzly would be scary enough outside in the night!
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Heck, a bull loose in a field is enough for me. Though I have been known to venture there.
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High-Larr-Eye-Us stuff. Loved it. Simple yet effective. Poor story narrator.
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Yea, bless. You should hear her stories of flying in a USAF aircraft over Alaska, with only one engine. I didn’t appreciate it at the time, since we were flying over the Black Sea at the time of the telling 🙂
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