The children’s God is a weather god. To wit . . .
It rains = God’s taking a shower
There’s thunder = God’s moving his bed
There’s lightning = God’s striking a match (and sometimes he’s careless and drops it and causes a fire!)
It’s windy (breezy, gusty or full-out gale) = it’s God’s farts.
Well, I have just returned from battling my way to the local shops—alarmed by the tots on their way to school, their clear plastic umbrellas caught by the wind and, Mary Poppins-like, lifted into the sky (thankfully quickly snatched back, amid wails and cries, by their parent or carer)—and I’ve this to say that childhood god . . .
Please, don’t eat so many greens and beans.
Don’t you know they cause flatulence.
image from www.sensiblehealth.com